Today is day 1. I am as excited as I am anxious. The pen is in my hand and the story has not yet been written. . I wonder what might happen. I wonder if I might change. . . do I really need to change?
Then I read words that stir my heart, move me, and seem to scream out to me. . .the time is now!
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.”
I will say it again. My goal is not a “big” life, but a full life. Full of love, full of laughter, full of feeling free being who I am.
I expect that I will write about some of my daily steps of courage in this blog, but not all of them. I will reserve many for my personal journal. In all reality, I believe that the simple moments of every day are the most extraordinary. I am inspired most by the conversations I have with people who sojourn with me even if on a different path. I am more and more aware each day that there are nuggets of wisdom in almost every conversation. Whether the words come from the little ones with whom I share my home, those who walk along side me on a similar journey, or those who have already beaten the path before me and have the scars to prove it. . . there is much to drink in and I am so thirsty!
Just this week the kids and I had a spontaneous lunch with Chad’s dad. We sat with our table cluttered by pizza, salads, and diet-cokes and we talked. Like a perfectly choreographed dance he shared of his continuing battle with cancer and I shared about my journey of grief. He talked of watching his mom’s health fail and I shared of my coping as an injured runner. These conversations were intermittently interrupted by the pleas of a 2 and 4-year old begging for us to be done talking. And I found myself, once again, recognizing that no price tag could be placed on this moment. For when we share our stories we find how similar we really are and in sharing these stories I find myself better fueled to continue this course. . . one day at a time.
I admit my theme might get boring and maybe you have heard it too much. But I continue to feel incredibly thankful for this life and the opportunity to live these moments. Does that mean all things are perfect and painless? By no means. It just means that even if through a sheath on some days, I see so much worth being thankful for and on this day I am thankful for a lunch with Gramps.
And, of course, Gramps made sure the kids were handsomely awarded for their patience (or lack thereof) before we parted company for the day. What kid doesn’t need to play air hockey. . .
. . . or a toy from a vending machine?
These are the days we will ALL remember.