It’s hard to believe. So hard to believe.
It’s been 10 years.
Ten years since our lives changed. Ten years since our hearts were cracked wide open and a kind of love we never knew existed was born. Ten years since the world looked different–more beautiful and more scary all at the same time.
It’s been ten years since my heart first opened up and began living outside by body.
Ten years since he was born.
My one and only son.
The one who stole my heart in an instant with his first wailing cry.
The one who first called me ‘Mama”.
Ten years ago he was born. Ten year ago my son was born.
Ten years ago today, right before the clock struck midnight, Charlie came into the world and made our world brighter.
I remember so much about the day of your birth. The hours and hours that seemed endless. The visitors, the waiting, waiting, waiting. I remember the anticipation, the fear, the waiting, waiting, waiting. There are so many details I remember about the day you were born–some that were funny and others that were not so funny. The thing that I remember the most, though, Charlie? I remember the doctors words when finally, in the darkness of the night, you emerged.
“It’s a boy” she said.
My first reaction? Fear. A boy? What am I supposed to do with a boy? I’ve never been a boy–I don’t know how to take care of a boy. What do I do? How will I know what he needs? How will I take care of a boy?
I was scared.
It didn’t take long, though. One look into your eyes and I knew. . .
. . . I knew I would love you forever.
Yes, having a boy scared me at first, but what I’ve realized, is that it all kind of works outs. We have figured it out as we’ve gone and living life with you has been a nonstop adventure. (Of course, your bright eyes, dimples, and smile that, still do this day, make my heart do flip flops, helps.)
Charlie, your curious mind and gentle heart have taught me more than all my years of schooling could have ever taught me. Your thirst for adventure and your enthusiasm for all things has made my world more vibrant and exciting.
Charlie, thank you for bringing so much life to our family. . .
Thank you making making us laugh. . .
And think. . .
And for keeping us on our toes. . .
More than anything, Charlie, I’m so glad that on this day, 10 years ago, the doctor declared those words–it’s a boy–and handed your little 5 pound frame to me. I’m so thankful that it was your hand that wrapped around my finger and your almond shaped brown eyes that looked into mine that day. I’m so thankful, Charlie, that it was you who first called me Mama.