Did you ever watch the show, Saved By The Bell? You know the one. . . California kids, high school drama, over-acting, unrealistic relationship with overly involved principal? I’m guessing if you are anywhere in the vicinity of my age group. . . you know what I’m talking about. Oh, and Zack Morris. . . who didn’t love him? The good-looking, charmer of a guy who could swindle anything from anyone with one bat of an eyebrow. Dreeeeaaaammmmy.
(I totally had a Zack Morris phone in college. . . seriously, I did)
Do you remember Zack’s super-power? It’s funny as I think about it now. . . A super-power seems quite out of place in a show that was supposed to mimic real life. Anyway, if you don’t know, Zack had the ability to stop time. It was quite cool, really. I only remember vaguely, but I think he would put both hands together in a “T”-shape, signaling a time-out. In that moment, all activity around him would stand still and only Zach had the spotlight. All excess chatter was silenced, and it was only Zack’s words and Zack’s thoughts.
I totally had a Zack Morris time out moment today. This was it. . .
In this moment, standing above my kids as they mixed equal parts flour and water and a little bit of salt I thought to myself. . . This feels like a dream. I am the luckiest person in the world to be in this house, in this kitchen, with these kids.
Charlie, Chanelle and I have been talking about this project for a week. . .Paper mache. I’ve never done paper mache before. My plan was to read up on the how-to’s and have everything ready ahead of time. But, life happens, surgeries happen, worrying happens and before I knew it. . . Tuesday was here and I had no clue what I was doing.
Artist, I am not. I did a quick Google search and we dove right in. Who needs directions?
I sat cross-legged on the floor with my two rambunctious children and I laughed and told them that I have no clue what I’m doing. I explained that I have never done paper mache before, so I can’t be certain that our paper mache masks are going to turn out well. Charlie was quick to reassure me. . “Don’t worry, Mommy. I know what to do. I saw Max and Ruby do it before.”
Well then, away we go. . . We snipped, tore, dipped and pasted. . .
As our hands disappeared in the goo of the paste I found myself laughing at them and at me. Like a kid, I couldn’t hide my excitement. “This is so cool, you guys! I can’t believe we are actually doing this! I have no idea what we are doing!” It was like all three of us were taking a tour into unknown territory for the very first time. Their enthusiasm matched my own as Chanelle wiped paste on Charlie’s face and Charlie talked about how he knows how to make the paste dry really fast. . .
While I sat on the kitchen floor with paste covering my hands and splattering my clothing, I felt at least 20 years younger than I am. I remember before we had kids, I often told Chad that I didn’t know if I would know how to be a good Mom. I remember worrying that I wouldn’t know how to connect, relate, entertain. I remember feeling terrified about being able to love them in the way a good Mom should love her kids. I remember doubting that I could really be with them. . . even if I was with them.
I feel differently today. In these moments on the kitchen floor it was so clear to me. . . these two little people have taught me about what it means to be a Mom. In my Zack Morris moments my heart was screaming out big thank yous to these two little people that have allowed me to dive back into childhood in a way that is so real and memorable. I owe them a thank you for teaching me how to slow down and be in the moment. I owe them a thank you for grabbing my hand and pulling me to their level and saying, “Come on, Mommy, play with us.”
I know that season’s change and as we move from one season to another, each will carry with it it’s own unique beauty. But, I suspect that these days will be among the most precious. Days that I will treasure forever as the priceless gems that they are. I don’t believe I will ever regret a moment spent making a mess on the floor, or a photo taken, or a closet that was left undone. . . for I’m doing my best to soak in the preciousness today.
Our masks are still drying and we don’t know if they will turn out. It doesn’t really matter. We piled on more memories today and that is enough. I truly do feel like the luckiest girl in the world.
And, just in case you were wondering. . . I made sure there was some balance. Crossing off the to-do list is a pretty good feeling, too. . .