At first I thought I was hungry.  I had returned home from a morning run, showered, and just sat down with a cold bottle of water when I felt it. I grabbed a bite to eat and sipped more water and still, the rumbles continued. It was a soft and subtle feeling at first, but then it became stronger, more insistent.  After a few moments I realized what it was. . .

The body of my little 4 1/2 inch babe was knocking on my abdomen letting me know that he/she’s here.  I took a moment and closed my eyes and vowed to remember it.  To remember the slight touches of my little one that is nestled deep in my womb and growing stronger everyday.  To remember the first intimate touches that only we share. 

I picked up my phone and sent Chad a text. . . it feels like there is a swarm of bees in my belly.  It did and suddenly it hit me. . this is for real.

I assumed that with the third child the little things might become less exciting.  Less worth the celebration.  Less noteworthy.  However, I’ve found the opposite to be true.  I don’t want to miss a thing.  I want to feel the flutters, the kicks, and the changes.  I want to be present in a way that with my previous pregnancies I was not.  In my previous pregnancies I only wanted the end result. . . this time, I long to enjoy the experience and see the beauty of it. 

You know those families who stop at every rest stop on the way to their vacation destination?  The families that pull over when they see an interesting small town to explore and pay no attention to the time?  The families who seem to get that the journey is just as important as the destination?  That’s my goal for this pregnancy.  I want to celebrate these moments and writing about them helps. Writing holds me accountable.

Dude, there is a baby in my belly and he/she is dancing around even as I write this–that is nothing short of a miracle!

I don’t know if we will have a boy or a girl.  Just like we did with the other two, we will wait until that final breathless push to hear the words of my doctor announce, “It’s a ____.”  I love that moment.  What I know now, though, that I didn’t know then is that the moments go by so quickly and before I know it that slippery little baby becomes a little person with dreams, talents, fears, smiles, and struggles all their own.  What I didn’t know then that I know now is that each new stage is just as precious as the one before. 

I remember when I first felt Charlie’s flutters.  I was standing in the living room of our little apartment and I stopped cold in my tracks and called my Mom.  I felt the baby! I exclaimed to her.  And now. . .

. . . this little guy has grabbed my heart and tenderized my soul even more than it already was.  Now, his dimples send my heart into it’s own kind of flutter that draw tears to my eye.  Those little flutters transformed into something more than I could have ever imagined.

And Chanelle. . . I remember the way I used to put my hands on my stomach as I sat through my classes in grad school.  Willing, waiting, and hoping.  I look at her now and I am amazed that those little flutters turned into this little ball of sunshine that rocked my world. . .

Oh, she keeps me on my toes.  Even now I get flutters in my soul as I wonder how in the heck I’m going to keep up with her.  Just the other day as I was cleaning in the bedrooms, I realized that I hadn’t heard a peep out of her for awhile (a rarity).  I walked into the living room to find this scene. . .

Maybe I’m just hormonal and overly emotional, but I am overwhelmed tonight as I realize that this little person will slide into our family and transform our lives in a way we could never guess today.  That in a few short months we will become something different than we are today.  That, once again, we will be changed by this life that has yet to take its first breath.  It is exciting and scary and miraculous and these flutters just made it all the more real.  But even though I can’t wait to meet this new little person, tonight I am choosing to stop for a moment, rest, and take in the scenery of the little town I call Flutters.

  • Sassytimes - June 14, 2011 - 1:01 pm

    I've been having flutters all week too. They are amazing. I, like you, feel this 3rd time around thing is MORE exciting. I think the more children you have, the more fleeting you realize it is. …and how precious it is. I can't believe it's almost halfway over for us. Can't believe it.ReplyCancel

  • Sassy - June 14, 2011 - 2:18 pm

    I agree that the excitement increases with each pregnancy. The first time everything was so new and I didn't know what to expect. Just when I felt comfortable with a certain phase of my pregnancy, my body would change again. This last time with Braxton, I was hit really really hard with the miracle of it all. And I think when you are already a Mommy and have seen those little babies grow up and make footprints in the world, you know that the little one iside you isn't "just" a baby, but a person. One who will grow up with their own little personality and impression on the world. You already know how fully and wonderfully it will impact your world and it's exciting! I think that is was I miss the most about being pregnant. The expectation of possibilities. 🙂ReplyCancel

  • mommathieszen - June 14, 2011 - 6:12 pm

    Summer, we read different baby books with each of our pregnancies, but the one we found for our third pregancy was amazing in it's photos (which I know you would love) and brought to life the growing process like we hadn't experienced with our other two. The book title is "A Child Is Born" by Lennart Nilsson. Not sure if you've already read it or seen it, but it's SO worth the buy. Our library even had a few copies so you may want to start there. If not, I found it on Amazon for around $15. Take it all in, Summer, and celebrate every little milestone that child is making inside you–it's nothing short of a miracle!ReplyCancel

  • Trophy Life - June 14, 2011 - 8:46 pm

    that was a really incredible post, my friend. i love the little lives that are a part of your family – dimples and squinty eyes from putting on big-girl make-up. i LOVE it.ReplyCancel

  • Abbe - June 14, 2011 - 11:08 pm

    what an amazing, beautiful post! enjoy your time in flutters! i'm sure before you know it, you'll be cruising into babyville. 🙂ReplyCancel

  • Summer - June 15, 2011 - 12:28 am

    Thank you, Ladies, for the love. Thank you MT for the book referral–I'll have to check it out!ReplyCancel

  • SnappyTulip - June 15, 2011 - 2:11 am

    This was so nice. I am glad you are enjoying it. It truly is a miracle and an unbelievable experience everytime.
    Thank you for sharing.ReplyCancel

  • Kendra George - June 15, 2011 - 1:29 pm

    You have an amazing way of putting into writing what you are thinking and feeling…I don't always remember to go back to my friend's blogs, but was blessed by yours today…good reminders…we are excited for you guys!!ReplyCancel

  • Hummel Family - June 16, 2011 - 2:00 am

    Hip-Hip-Hooray! How exciting is this post!?! 🙂 I am so excited to be a part of this journey. So many A-M-A-Z-I-N-G things are happening inside of you right now and so many more A-M-A-Z-I-N-G things are yet to come!! God is good like that, ya know? Yah, I know you know!ReplyCancel

  • Ky • twopretzels.com - June 16, 2011 - 4:13 pm

    Summer, there is something about the way you write… why do I tear up with each post?

    Enjoy this. Enjoy this time.

    Your babies are so blessed to have you.ReplyCancel

  • Adopted Aunt - June 17, 2011 - 1:57 am

    I still remember those flutters! How wonderful. Can't wait till the end to see who is going to add the spice to all our lives just like the other two who have captured our hearts.ReplyCancel

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