The Girls

“The girls have a doctor’s appointment on Saturday.” 

As soon as I spoke the words to Chad my heart jumped a little.  “The girls”.  It was the first time I used the phrase and you know what? I liked it.

I’ve always enjoyed hearing friends refer to their kids as “the girls” or “the boys”. There is something very, well, sweet about the grouping together.  I can still hear my Mom and Dad referring to my sister and I as “the girls” or “you girls”.  It never bothered me to be coupled with my sister.  Frankly, it just felt right. 

And here I am years later uttering the same phrase. . . The girls. . .  

Just over a month later it’s still hard to believe. . .I am the Mommy of not just one, but two, little girls. 

The weight of the responsibility is enormous.  (Please don’t hear me wrong.  My role in Charlie’s life is very important. In fact, it’s vital.  However, I know that the most important influencer and role model in his life will be Chad.)  For the girls (there it is again. . . “the girls”) my role is important in a different and profound way.

I was recently sorting through a stack of books in my bedroom and came across one titled, Why A Daughter Needs A Mom.  I don’t think I bought the book and I’m not really sure where it came from, though I suspect it was one of my Mom’s.  At first I didn’t want to open it, fearful that it might hurt to face what I no longer have.  But, after several weeks of avoidance I began thumbing through it’s pages and found the words written inside to be refreshingly beautiful. 

As I read through the pages I thought about my girls.  I thought about the years we have ahead of us and and the experiences they might have.  I thought about the hopes I have for them and the lessons I want to teach them.  I thought about the shield of protection I want to put around them.  I reflected on how I can encourage them to see life as beautiful and to see who they are as beautiful.  I wondered how I might help them to be excited by life rather than fearful of it. 

Oh man, I thought about so many things. But more than anything, you know what I thought about?   I thought about how I might help them be fully who they were created to be.

I believe that will be a discovery they make, in part, on their own.  However, I do believe I play a role. What words can I say?  What wisdom can I impart to help them understand that they are perfect just as they are?  What lesson will be the one that communicates to them that they truly are enough? 

 As much as I love words, I realize they are often just that. . . words.  As their Mom my words will mean little. . .  but my actions?  The way I live my life?  The way I follow my dreams?  The way I live courageously? The way I accept myself?  The way I accept others?  The way I accept them. . .

I believe those things matters.  I think what I model will does matter.

 At 33 years old, I’m further on this journey than I’ve ever been.  The last few years have been transforming in the way I see myself and how I see the world.  I live differently than I did a few years ago.  I’m a little braver.  A little more confident.  And far more forgiving of my faults. No, I have not arrived, but I think if’ I’ve leaned anything over the last several years it’s that life is a journey of discovery and not a destination marked “Perfection”. 

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I long for my girls to embrace themselves as they are.  To walk confidently with a quiet knowing that I am enough.  Therefore, my journey must continue.  The journey toward “enoughness”.  Accepting myself as I am.  Embracing my flaws not as flaws, but as uniqueness.  Cultivating a sense of humor and a lightness about life.  And focusing my eyes not on the barriers in the world, but on the beauty. 

Maybe I’m naive, but I strongly believe that who I am as their Mom will greatly impact who they become as women.  And in the deepest part of my heart I know Chanelle and Meadow are meant to shine like stars, because really. . .

. . . aren’t we all?

  • mommathieszen - December 21, 2011 - 12:55 pm

    Thanks for sharing a vision with me to teach our girls what it's like to have confidence and beauty! : )

    I remember the first time I said "the boys" and had the same type of flutter in my heart. Micah just looked up at me and said, "Boys. For a minute I almost corrected you until I remembered that, yes, we do have 2 of them now!" It was cute.ReplyCancel

  • Dri - December 21, 2011 - 8:21 pm

    I love this post! I found myself nodding along and agreeing with what my role as a mother of a girl is, as well as this journey of "self acceptance" I'm on (and maybe a lot of other women are on??).ReplyCancel

  • lisa - December 21, 2011 - 9:51 pm

    Wow!!! My breath was taken away by that black & white photo of Channelle….oh my! that is truly fantastic!! πŸ™‚

    And so true about how you live your life will truly mold them…as I've watched my boys become such affectionate and sensitive lil' men and I truly believe it is from the way I've loved them and lived my life. You and "the girls" are going to have sooo much fun as they grow…and of course, Charlie! πŸ™‚
    merry christmas!!ReplyCancel

  • Adopted Aunt - December 22, 2011 - 2:52 am

    Your words are so true but the part that their father plays in their lives will be so important! Look at your relationship with your dad. I would bet he helped you become the confident, amazing, woman you are. They will need to have date nights with dad so they know what it means to be cherished and they will know they are important. You will play as you have to teach Charlie to be sensitive and respectful to girls bc one day he is going to be looking for a woman as wonderful as his beautiful mom. You and Chad have done a great job and I know you will continue! I love the black and white one of your oldest girl. You will teach them to be confident, believing in themselves, how to be a mom and wife. Ly all. Hope to see you next week sometime.ReplyCancel

  • Ky β€’ - December 23, 2011 - 6:39 pm

    Heavy, heavy sigh…

    With some blogs I read, I just gloss over the words and look at the photos.

    On your blog, I read ever word you write. And I gaze at every photo you post.

    This post struck a chord.

    I hear you, friend. I hear you.ReplyCancel

  • Summer - December 24, 2011 - 3:51 am

    I love you ladies.

    I really, really do.ReplyCancel

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