The Nothing Box

Did you know that men have a nothing box?  I know, I was shocked too but apparently it’s true.
Let me explain using the following scenario. . .
Chad and I are in the car and I notice that he’s quiet.  I imagine that he must be contemplating the meaning of life, the complexity of the human existence or something similar, like how much he adores me.  So I look over at him and the following conversation takes place:
Me: “Whatcha thinking about?”
He takes a moment to respond and in those seconds the build up of excitement in my mind is like the Christmas Eve to a child.  I think to myself. . . this is going to be a great conversation!. . . And then he opens his mouth to respond. . .
Chad:  “Nothing.”
My typical response in such situations takes some form of the following.
Me:  “You can’t be thinking about nothing! Seriously, tell me.  What are you thinking about?”
Again he tells me.  “Nothing.” 
Since I’m not one to give up easily I will persist with my interrogation:
“I don’t understand why you can’t just tell me what you are thinking about.  Is something wrong?  Are you upset about something?  Don’t you trust me?”
Again he insists he is thinking about nothing and I am left feeling frustrated and confused as to why my husband just won’t share what is on his mind.  Until recently, that is, when I learned about the “Nothing Box”.

According to Mark Gungor in his book Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage, available here, men truly have a “Nothing Box”.   The author describes,

There is a special box in a man’s head that most women don’t know about.  This particular box has nothing in it.  We refer to it as the “nothing box.” It’s called that because it contains, well. . . nothing.  It’s just an empty box.  And amazingly, of all the boxes stacked in a man’s brain, his “nothing box” is his favorite box.  If given the opportunity, a man will always go straight to his nothing box. 
This was truly enlightening information to me.  I had no idea!
He goes on to cite a neurophysiologist who has shown that 70 percent of the electrical activity of men’s brains shut down when they are in a resting state.  Women, however, maintain a full 90 percent of their electrical activity.  
After reading this, so many things made more sense to me. Like why my husband can sit peacefully and enjoy a movie while my mind is going 100 miles an  hour as I plan meals for the next week, make a mental grocery list, and try to figure out how I might contribute to creating peace on earth. . . . for some reason, I have to ask lots of questions during any given movie.  
If what Mr. Gungor says is true, when Chad says nothing he really means. . . “Nothing”.  Who knew?  Now, rather than getting frustrated and concerned that that our marriage is failing, I understand that he’s probably visiting his“Nothing Box”. . . 
And if I’m being truly honest. . . I’m a bit jealous.  I would love a Nothing Box.

  • Trophy Life - September 28, 2010 - 11:31 am

    where do i get one? sign me up!ReplyCancel

  • Charbelle - September 28, 2010 - 11:56 am

    This made me think of a huge fight I had with an ex, he wanted me to just watch a movie (that I'd already seen) and I wanted to check email and FB and do projects and he just wanted me to sit there and watch a movie.
    It was such a dumb fight but he could sit and just watch the movie and be completely content. So this makes sense and explains a lot!ReplyCancel

  • Ky • - September 28, 2010 - 5:24 pm

    Omg. This is fantastic. I cannot TELL you how many times (more so in the beginning of our relationship) that I'd ask C. what he was thinking about… And he's respond with, "Nothing."

    I used to think he was fibbing. I mean, REALLY? Who thinks about NOTHING?

    Then…after I started realizing just how calm and low-key my husband is… and how different he is from me, I realized that he more than likely IS/WAS truly doing just as he said: thinking about nothing.

    Love it.

    I love that men are SO different from us. Can you imagine if men and women were both multi-tasking at a mile-a-minute pace? Oy.

    Marriage is good.ReplyCancel

  • Kendra - September 29, 2010 - 1:31 am

    Oh, S! This post is amazing! In fact, I appreciate it so much that I made my husband mute ESPN just so I could read it to him. 🙂

    At its conclusion, his comment: "Required reading for all women. We really do have a 'nothing box'."

    Who knew?ReplyCancel

  • SassyTimes - September 29, 2010 - 12:19 pm

    Oh wow….this makes sense. I need one….bad! 😉ReplyCancel

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