Last week I went to the doctor for a “pre-op” appointment for the surgery I will have later this week. Since I’ve never had surgery I didn’t really know what the appointment would entail. After a quick hello and good-bye to my doctor, a nurse entered the room to run the tests. It was quite painless. Blood pressure, pulse, blood work, and finally an EKG to check my heart. When all was done she asked me to hold tight for a minute so the doctor could look at the tests before dismissing me.
I sat in the room gathering my things and looking at my watch, anxious to get out of there and relieve a friend who was watching the kids.
Tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock. . . finally the door opened. . .
I was surprised to see my doctor re-enter the room and she almost looked different with that serious-concerned-nervous look on her face.
It’s your heart. . . I don’t like what I’m seeing. I can’t approve the surgery. . . I’m sending you for a more extensive blood/heart workup.
What?! Even though I know it shouldn’t. . . my mind goes directly to the worst case scenario. Forget the fact that I’m a long-distance runner who has never had the slightest heart issue. Forget the fact that I rarely get sick and no one in my family has had heart issues. Forget the fact that I had no facts. Nah, it’s far more fun to freak out and begin planning my funeral.
I spent several hours last Thursday at the hospital where they ran a battery of tests to to check my heart. And then we waited. . . . . . one day, two, three, wondering what news we might get. We got it today. . .
Your tests came back fine.
Big sigh of relief. And then it hit me. . . that piece of information that I didn’t tell my doc before she looked at my EKG. What I should have said is. . . “doc, if you see an abnormality on my heart. . . don’t be alarmed. That is just little growths all over my heart that I like to call ‘extra love’. It’s nothing to be concerned about, it just seems to grow every day fueled by a bajillion little moments that make up this special little life.”
Oops, I left that part out. I forgot to tell her that there are moments when my heart is just like the Grinch’s when he listened to the songs of the Who’s in Whoville. . . it beats a little faster and grows exponentially when I see things like this. . .
Oh, and those times when I become one of those moms and race to the front of the auditorium to get a picture of them as they sing in their Christmas program. Seriously, I never thought I would do such things, but my heart beats with the sound of the music when I watch them from afar. You better believe I waved to Chanelle as avidly as she waved to me when she caught a glimpse of me hunkered in the corner. . .
Maybe it’s something I should be concerned about. . . these little heart growths. Hey, maybe I’m the only one that knows they are there. Believe me. . . they. are. there. From the silly moments, to the tender moments, to even the frustrating moments. . . all of them reach from my eyes and ears deep into my heart filling me with such love that my insides can barely contain it.
Heart abnormalities? Yep. Something to be concerned about? Nope. . . it’s just extra love.
Love’s greatest gift is its ability to make everything it touches sacred.