A Shot of Perspective

My cousin had a baby today. 

I vividly remember the warm August day nearly three years ago when she married her husband in one of the most beautiful wedding ceremonies I’ve ever attended.  It was a gorgeous Friday evening when two people joined their hands and their lives to form something bigger than they ever could have done on their own. 

Today, one of those “bigger’s” burst forth into the world in the form of a beautiful little girl.

For the past two days I’ve kept my phone close by as I’ve awaited updates about my cousin’s labor and delivery.  Excitement turns to concern, turns to hope, turns to fear, turns to prayers, turns to anticipation, turns to. . . rejoicing.

A new life came into the world today and I was jarred. 

Maybe jarred isn’t the right word, but in a way I was jolted back into reality.  Back to the importance of what is going on in my body right now.  Back to an understanding that pregnancy isn’t just pregnancy. . . it’s so much more.

To be honest. . . I’ve spent the last couple of weeks (okay, months) existing in survival mode.  Get through the day-get through the day-get through the day.  Make it past the nausea, survive the exhaustion, adjust to the constant changes that are happening to my body, bare with the thirty-two trips to the bathroom at night. 

The goal?  Survival.

Today, though, with the birth of this new little girl I was able to open my eyes and recognize that at the end of all this is the prize of all prizes.  At the end of all this. . . our family will be complete. 

Today, I am excited.  Thrilled.  Overjoyed and filled with anticipation about meeting this new little life.  A little life to love.  A journey to embark on that is scary and exhilarating at the same time. 

Today, I remembered. . . I LOVE this Mommy stuff.

I remember thinking when our kids were infants that I didn’t want them to get any bigger because it all seemed so perfect.  Now, I realize that it only gets better with time. 

Take Sunday morning, for example.  As I was getting ready for the day, Chanelle was observing me and finally expressed her curiosity.  Can I try, Mommy? 

This was another one of those moments that I wished I had the super-power to freeze the moment.  If I did, I think I would have paused it, taken a step back, and swallowed deep every element of her face, her excitement, her curiosity of being a “big girl”.  She played with eye shadow, blush and lip gloss and made sure to top it off with the sweet smelling perfume of her choice.  And as we both stood there before the mirror I smiled as I relished in the joy of the moment.

Eye shadow on the cheek. . . she marches to the beat of her own drum and I. am. proud.

As corny as it sounds. . . this is one of those moments I always dreamed of having with my little girl.  Mommy and daughter. . . doing girly things. 

It’s not until I slow down and really think about it that I realize what I have been doing.  Worrying, fretting, fearing the change that is going to come into our lives.  Focusing on the here and now and the things that are so temporary, rather than recognizing that new life. . . however painfully or painlessly it gets here. .  . is good.

Today, as I awaited the news from my aunt about my cousin’s baby, I was taken back to the long labor I had with Charlie.  How it felt after hours and hours of difficult labor to hold his tiny 5 pound frame in my hands.  I was reminded how in one second the pain of it all disappeared.  I remember, like it was yesterday, how in one moment my life changed as my heart expanded to love in a way I never had never loved before. 

So tonight I sit here not fearing what I will wake up to tomorrow or concerned if I will be able to make it through the day.  I sit here filled with anticipation and hope for the day when we will meet our something “bigger”.  When in a moment, a life will burst forth and we will count fingers and toes and anticipate the sweet sound of our new baby’s wailing as it enters our world.  Oh, man tonight I am excited. 

I got a shot of perspective today and I really, really needed it. 

  • Sassytimes - May 11, 2011 - 1:03 pm

    I wish we were neighbors. 😉ReplyCancel

  • Trophy Life - May 11, 2011 - 2:07 pm

    ohmygoodness!! i am so excited to meet this little one. i know it'll be awhile, but in no time at all the newest one will be here and i cannot wait. now, i know i am no the one who had to deal with the sickness and the exhaustion, so i'm glad you're feeling better and embracing the happiness that will come.ReplyCancel

  • Sassy - May 11, 2011 - 5:31 pm

    What a great perspective! I was ill with all of mine and severly ill with my fourth. It was definitely a matter of survival…until about the fourth month. After that I soaked up as much of it as I could, knowing he would be the last bundle to come from my body. 🙂

    Hope you are enjoying this beautiful weather! We sure are!! 🙂ReplyCancel

  • Kim - May 11, 2011 - 9:45 pm

    Can hardly wait for November……am excited!!!!ReplyCancel

  • Adopted Aunt - May 12, 2011 - 1:59 am

    Am glad i was there when you finally got text of another miracle. That is what you are carry a miracle from God. I know how it is to not feel good while pregnant. Not fun but when you hear that cry and snuggle them that first time it's worth it. My vote is to not find out I think that is part of the excitement. I can't wait! The 9th would be a good day to have it:). Anxious to see kids tomorrow and again thanks for yesterday.ReplyCancel

  • Ky • twopretzels.com - May 12, 2011 - 4:51 pm

    Yay for you. I love you, sweet Summer.ReplyCancel

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