My cousin had a baby today.
I vividly remember the warm August day nearly three years ago when she married her husband in one of the most beautiful wedding ceremonies I’ve ever attended. It was a gorgeous Friday evening when two people joined their hands and their lives to form something bigger than they ever could have done on their own.
Today, one of those “bigger’s” burst forth into the world in the form of a beautiful little girl.
For the past two days I’ve kept my phone close by as I’ve awaited updates about my cousin’s labor and delivery. Excitement turns to concern, turns to hope, turns to fear, turns to prayers, turns to anticipation, turns to. . . rejoicing.
A new life came into the world today and I was jarred.
Maybe jarred isn’t the right word, but in a way I was jolted back into reality. Back to the importance of what is going on in my body right now. Back to an understanding that pregnancy isn’t just pregnancy. . . it’s so much more.
To be honest. . . I’ve spent the last couple of weeks (okay, months) existing in survival mode. Get through the day-get through the day-get through the day. Make it past the nausea, survive the exhaustion, adjust to the constant changes that are happening to my body, bare with the thirty-two trips to the bathroom at night.
The goal? Survival.
Today, though, with the birth of this new little girl I was able to open my eyes and recognize that at the end of all this is the prize of all prizes. At the end of all this. . . our family will be complete.
Today, I am excited. Thrilled. Overjoyed and filled with anticipation about meeting this new little life. A little life to love. A journey to embark on that is scary and exhilarating at the same time.
Today, I remembered. . . I LOVE this Mommy stuff.
I remember thinking when our kids were infants that I didn’t want them to get any bigger because it all seemed so perfect. Now, I realize that it only gets better with time.
Take Sunday morning, for example. As I was getting ready for the day, Chanelle was observing me and finally expressed her curiosity. Can I try, Mommy?
|Eye shadow on the cheek. . . she marches to the beat of her own drum and I. am. proud.|
As corny as it sounds. . . this is one of those moments I always dreamed of having with my little girl. Mommy and daughter. . . doing girly things.
Today, as I awaited the news from my aunt about my cousin’s baby, I was taken back to the long labor I had with Charlie. How it felt after hours and hours of difficult labor to hold his tiny 5 pound frame in my hands. I was reminded how in one second the pain of it all disappeared. I remember, like it was yesterday, how in one moment my life changed as my heart expanded to love in a way I never had never loved before.
I got a shot of perspective today and I really, really needed it.