A record of the incessant and trivial chatter running through my head.
.jpg) There is this song. It’s called Cinderella. The song was written by and is sung by Steven Curtis Chapman. I still remember how I felt the first time I heard it. It was one of those gut-wrenching, soul capturing moments that produced uncontrollable tears. (There is a story behind the song and is well worth […]    .jpg) One afternoon last week, Chanelle and I were taking a walk around the block. It was an overcast day with just a slight breeze prompting her white-blonde hair dance through the air. As we walked I waved to the neighbor as he finished mowing his lawn and said hi to another neighbor who was fixing […]
.jpg) If you’ve ever lived on a college campus (in a place where you have four seasons) you might be familiar with this scene: It’s the first beautiful, warm, sunny day of spring. After spending months and months cooped up in what feels like 4×4 dorm rooms and breathing the air filled with a mix heater […]
.jpg) Perhaps you’ve noticed my slight obsession with Story People. I’m sure if you search my blog you will see that they make an appearance on nearly a weekly basis. (Like here , here, here, here , here, or here.) And that was just a quick 30 second search. Truth is, I can’t help it. Somehow, […] .jpg) It’s rainy today. Low hanging clouds have settled in and, if you listen really close, you can hear the light taptaptaptap of rain just outside the window. Charlie and Chanelle are settled in on the couch watching a movie and Meadow is squawking from her crib, desperately fighting her nap. Just a bit ago Charlie […]
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This is a constant struggle for me as well, so I thank you for sharing your heart! I am sitting in my car with tears flowing, praying for you, for me, for so many other women that I know have these same thoughts. Thank you for taking the time to share with all of us… It is very much appreciated an a blessing to me and so many others!!!
Thank you, LeAnn, for getting it and reminding me that I'm not the only one. I needed that.
No, no, Summer, you are definitely not the only one. Even as my kids get older, I find myself wanting just to chuck everything and spend all day hiking and exploring and adventuring with my camera, but at the same time, I know that I should really be going grocery shopping, folding clothes, and tending to my garden (I loathe weeding!) And even all that aside, I also wonder what I want to do with my the rest of my life, now that we've got one in college and halfway out the nest. It's as though you have three sections in growing up: 1) when you're single/early married; 2) you have kids and create a family; then, 3) your life picks up where it left off before you had little ones. I'm beginning that final stage, and all that "freedom" is kinda paralyzing. But I also think that's what makes life such an adventure, too. I look at this last stage as a wide open prairie that I can explore as much as I want, choose to go any direction I want, and there's nothing that blocks my view.
Like I said, kinda paralyzing, too. ; )
I think you're right, Katie–the way your broke this down. I can imagine that the stage you are walking into is a bitter-sweet one and FULL of possibility. I can't wait to see where your path takes you. Undoubtedly, it will be filled with beautiful pictures. . . 🙂
Oh this just hits me so hard right now. Seriously, such a beautiful post.
We are really struggling to find balance. For nearly two years now we have been on a schedule where I work during the day and Terry works at night and on the weekends. Some days we see each other for 15 minutes after I get home from work and before he leaves. He is home alone with Henry during the day and I am during the evening and most of the weekend.
It is a strain on our relationship because we communicate mostly via text and the two of us hardly ever go out anymore or do things that we did before having a kid (i.e. I love crafts, terry golf and record collecting). There is an end in sight, but I think because I want this phase over I easily overlook the time with Henry I do have RIGHT NOW. I get easily frustrated and have major meltdowns and just wish the time would pass quicker.
Then there is the guilt of feeling bad that you get frustrated, or aren’t fully cherishing this time, or wishing you had just a little time to MYSELF.
Balance is key.
I am hoping this summer we can find a little time WITH Henry as a family and AWAY from Henry for ourselves so that we can cherish the time we do have and appreciate these moments more. I have to remember that I need time for just ME, Terry and I need time for US, and we need time together as a FAMILY.
For me, when I need a reminder I listen to Jason Mraz “I Won’t Give Up”.
Great post.
*My meltdowns are horrible. UGH. The last one I had, about 2 weeks ago, I went into the bathroom and turned the shower on and SAT in the shower and cried. I was a mess!!!