I know there are women who find out they are pregnant and immediately find themselves aglow with enthusiasm, hope, joy, light, and anticipation. These women grab hold of every phase of pregnancy and celebrate it for what it is. They rejoice when they transition into maternity clothes and give over their bodies for a greater purpose. These women are able to smile at all the crazy changes that come with this life phase and are able to soak in every beautiful moment of it.
I need to be honest. . . I am not one of those women.
Oh, I want to be. I really, really do. In fact, when we learned that we would be experiencing this miracle again, my goal was to embrace it, enjoy it, and not to wish the time away. I was going to wake up happy, I was going to have energy, I was going to get lost in the experience rather than counting the months, weeks, and days, until my body would be mine again.
One trimester into it. . . my goal is far out of reach. I’m not only counting the months and weeks, but I’m trying to get a good count of the hours. I’m saying silent prayers that the doctors are wrong and my due date is actually three weeks ahead of what they say. I play games in my head to manipulate the time to make the it all go quicker.
Don’t get me wrong. . . I love the miracle of new life. I am SO thrilled at the end result, but the process. . . oh, the process is one that I fight. I don’t like that I lose control. The my usual structured life gets interrupted. That my life, emotions, and desires are so unpredictable.
Unpredictability. . . I am not a fan.
So, in light of my feelings about pregnancy, I decided I’m just going to throw it out there and be honest.
How about a list?
I like it. A lot. In fact, this pregnancy I seem to be able to do it almost anywhere at anytime. At least once a week, maybe twice, I put on a movie for the kids and I completely check out to la-la land for a couple of hours. Perhaps that makes me a bad mother. . . I, however, am able to rationalize it by believing I’m taking care of the baby. I have also been known to fall asleep while working on paperwork for work. . . pen in hand, papers scattered before me. . . slobber running down my cheek.
I hate it. Seriously, I can’t stand the taste of it. Even the thought of it makes me feel nauseous. I dread brushing my teeth in the morning and the evening. . .the thought abhors me. There are days when I might not take a toothbrush to my teeth until late morning. (I know, my poor family).
Oh man. I don’t have a lot of cravings, but I do seem to have a problem with cereal. One day I want Shredded Wheat’s, the next day it’s Rice Crispies, then Cocoa Puffs, Cheerios, Rasin Bran, Life. . . on and on. The problem? I eat a bowl or two and then don’t want to have anything to do with it. Our budget is being thrown away on cereal and Chad is left to consume my leftovers.
I just had a thought. . . I should get those single serving boxes. Duh.
If they were frequent before. . . they are bombarding me now. Just last week I set the oven on fire making muffins that I’ve made three dozen times before. They ended up in shambles. . .
Typically, I would have thrown them out and started over. This time. . . I served them.
Pretty fancy, eh?
I do all sorts of random things that are unlike me. The latest?
Carrots in the freezer? Uh. . . we have a problem.
After I run, I still do sit-ups. I’m quite sure that I’m not going to have defined muscles, so why do I do them?
I have no idea.
Chad laughs at me. . . I laugh at myself.
7. Chanelle’s hair
There are days when I neglect it. She goes for that “natural” look, because to put effort in is just too much. . .
Oh, and on the day this picture was taken, not only did I not touch her hair, it was 5 p.m. before I brushed her teeth.
Mother of the year, I am.
Cottage cheese. I eat it daily. I could eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. In fact, maybe on a few days I have. My other craving is this little gem of a recipe. . .
. . . it’s always in my fridge, although on this particular day. . . I forgot to put the celery in. (I blame it on bullet number 4: Mistakes) Care for the recipe?
Rinse and drain one 15 ounce can each:
2 cups frozen green beans, cooked
2 celery stalks, finely chopped
1/2 red onion, finely chopped
1 c. fresh, finely chopped flat-leaf parsley
1 T. fresh finely chopped rosemary (YUMMY)
Blend together, then toss with beans:
1/3 c. apple cider vinegar
1/3 c. granulated sugar
1/4 c. olive oil
1 1/2 t. salt
1/4 t. black pepper
Chill beans in the refrigerator for several hours, to allow the beans to soak up the flavor of the dressing. Enjoy!
(Courtesy of my MIL)
During this pregnancy things have been left unfinished. The kitchen floor half cleaned. A puzzle in the living room only partially done. Laundry sits in the dyer far too long. One eye with eye make-up. A book half read. . .
. . . a blog list ending just short of complete.