2012

It happened again.  With one flip of the calender a new year is gifted to all of us.  A clean slate.  A new beginning.  Endless possibilities.  365 366 days to do with what we want. I like the freshness that a New Year brings.  I enjoy the unique gift it is to look back and forward at the same time. 

At this time last year I had no idea that 2011 would bring us a most incredible gift in our newest family member.  I had no idea that my heart could expand so much that, at times, it feels as though it could explode.   I didn’t anticipate the discovery of a new passion or a new self. I wasn’t sure how (or if) I would continue to heal from loss nor did I think I would find such pleasure in the most normal of days.  I had no clue that we would be making memories, both near and far, that we will carry with us for a lifetime.  There was just so much and none of it could I have anticipated.

What will I be looking back at in 2013 and saying “wow, I never would have guessed that” or “I can’t believe we made it through that”? I have no doubt that there will be a fair share of pleasant and unpleasant surprises.  This is life, right? 

When I began this blog I thought it would be a place where I would share my musings about running.  Funny how that never happened.  Instead it transformed into a place where I discovered friends, passions, and quite honestly, myself.  I could never have planned that. . . it just happened.  Sometimes, you can have the best plans and intentions but life has something different to offer. . . something more.

As I look forward to 2012 it resembles a notebook that Charlie and Chanelle have gotten their hands on.  Most of the pages are blank but scattered throughout I find pages marked on by their enthusiastic scribbles.   I realize that there will be things that happen this year that are completely out of my control.  Days that are already marked on.  However, there are other days that are completely up to me to fill.  Blank pages just waiting for me to make my mark.  The thought thrills me. . . and scares me a little, too. 

I’m not one for resolutions and I’m not making one now.  What I know for sure is that I’m not done yet.  This year I will continue to explore and discover. . . myself and the world.  There are dreams hidden in my heart, dreams that need to see the light of day.  Dreams that will see the light of day.  On those blank pages, I anticipate facing more fears, becoming more courageous, and becoming more who I was created to be. 

To 2012 I have just one thing to say. . . Bring. It. On.

All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible.
-Thomas Edward Lawrence

  • Adopted aunt - January 4, 2012 - 12:28 am

    I know what you mean when looking at the blank pages what will God lead me to, thru, will I be good enough? I want to be all that HE wants me to be and that can be scary and thrilling at the same time. I love reading your words, there is always something I can catch on to. May 2012 be a great year for you and your family!ReplyCancel

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